Parent Question: Can I Diet While My Child is in Eating Disorder Recovery?
Can I go on a diet while my child is in eating disorder recovery?
I wanted to dedicated an entire blog post to this question, as it is one I have been asked countless times. In fact, most parents we meet with initially are following some form of diet, food rules and/or meal plan for weight control or other reasons.
In the eating disorder recovery process, your child will learn that what they need to eat to get well and stay well, willl most definitely look differently than what you eat, what their peers it, siblings, etc. In fact, what we all eat will look different regardless of if we are in recovery or not, because we are all unique and nutrition and health is not one size fits all. And if you want to learn more about why your child’s nutrition in eating disorder recovery looks so different from yours, click here for an entire blog on it! This is messaging that we will consistently be reminding your child of through the duration of their recovery, as it is so important to learn and understand…and so difficult to make sense of while in recovery! They truly do need to treat their meal plan for eating disorder recovery like their medication.
However, there is a but here…
BUT it will be hard for your child to get well in the same environment and with the same triggers that they became sick in. When they work with me on their nutrition each week in the Youth Intensive Virtual Recovery Program, they will be learning a philosophy to health and nutrition where all foods fit, where foods are neither “good” nor “bad”, and where we focus on nutritional additions not subtraction. While this may, in theory, feel liberating…in practice it is absolutely terrifying. It is nothing short of a leap of faith. I always say you need to try it to trust it. And they will. But this will be exponentially easier on them if they visually see examples of inclusivity with food and are not faced with food rules and restrictions within their environment while in the early stages of their recovery work.
This is usually where I meet some defensiveness. And that is absolutely OK. When I work with the child, I am working with the family as well. Food and nutrition is often a centrepiece of family life, celebrations, weekly rhythm, traditions and so much more. This work is family focused, and we will all be working together to learn, grow and stay healthy and supported nutritionally within this process.
Many parents and caregivers find that they learn a lot throughout the eating disorder recovery process. They unlearn food rules that don’t serve them or the family…and adopt new ideas that align with the goals for health and wellness they have as a family both mentally and physically. This is true holistic nutrition. You may find that your eating shifts as you learn more thorugh this process (for most, this is the case). It challenges you to look at food and nutrition from a very different lense than perhaps you have previously. And, contrastly, you may find that you are not wanting to change your eating style at all, and this is OK as well. What serves you, may not serve your child. If this is the case, I find it is best to do what serves you quietly, keeping any weight loss plans, food logs, kitchen scales, calorie counters, or other tools you may be using out of sight. What is appropriate for you, in this case, is not appropriate for your child in eating disorder recovery.
Like everything else, there is no one size fits all here, though there is a best and recommended practice of visually demonstrating more inclusivity and less rigidity to foods in the household. This will look different for everyone, and for those working with us in the program, this is something you receive plenty of support on as well. The whole family is supported, not just your child.
As always, reach out if you are wondering where to start on your childs eating disorder recovery journey. We offer free discovery calls and are always happy to connect and support.
