What is Exercise Bulimia? Signs, Symptoms & My Recovery Story
Today I want to dive into a lesser known eating disorder called exercise bulimia that often slips by unnoticed. In this blog, I share about my own struggle with exercise bulimia, and discuss the signs and symptoms of this eating disorder. Read to uncover the reality of exercise bulimia through the lense of my experience, first personally and later professionally, and learn how what seems like dedication, can sometimes lead to something very harmful.
My Exercise Bulimia Story:
I used to be an athlete. It was my identity. And the more I committed myself to fitness, the more external praise I received. Even when my behaviors became undeniably extreme, I was celebrated for my commitment and my efforts. This is something all too common, and why an eating disorder called exercise bulimia often slips by unnoticed and under treated.
What started off as wanting to get “back in shape” and get back into the sports and physical activities that brought me joy, quickly became obsessive. This is the case for many who have perfectionist tendencies or addictive personalities. Training a few nights a week became a nightly occurrence. And then I added in mornings too. But a strange thing happened. The more I trained, and the more I increased my fitness, the more my body image declined. It became a constant worry and a never ending flow of negative thoughts. I worried I would lose the fitness I gained, which made no rational sense. And everytime I ate, I worried it would “ruin” my progress. Which again, is not at all what happens. We need adequate nutrition to support increased activity!
It snowballed from there. Every time I ate, I felt immense panic. And so every time I ate, I would run. Even when I was tired, or sick, or had other plans, I ran. Even when it was late at night, or freezing cold..I ran. Even when I was injured, I ran. Cyclically, the hunger would overtake me and I would binge eat. Which usually was followed by a panic attack, followed by a new fitness plan and new food rules. I was completely overtaken by the eating disorder, though most who knew me at the time continued to celebrate my commitment to fitness and “wellness”. This is the irony of how our society can perceive health and how that can be so contrary to what health actually looks and feels like.
I had never heard of the term exercise bulimia before, but I will never forget the day I learned it. I was a personal trainer at the time (yes, the irony doesn't escape me), and I was in the lobby of a client's building waiting for her to meet me for our morning training session. I was miserable. I was sore. I was so anxious and tired. I was hungry. And I was so scared to eat. I took out my phone and typed in my symptoms, and the words exercise bulimia showed up. As I read, I had to hold back tears. I was reading about myself.
I share this story, to help paint a picture of what this lesser known eating disorder looks like, and how something we can view as so good for us, can also be so harmful to us when engaged with as such.
My hope is that in bringing awareness to this eating disorder, and to the shadow side of exercise, more parents will be able to see the warning signs in their children, more individuals will know within themselves when they are taking it too far, and more people will feel comfortable to ask for help with something they maybe didn’t feel was deserving of such.
So now that you have read my personal story and example of what exercise bulimia can look like, let’s learn a little more about it.
What is Exercise Bulimia?
Exercise Bulimia refers to the act of compulsive and excessive exercising. Here, as you read in my exercise bulimia recovery story above, the exercise is used as a means of purging, or getting rid of, the food consumed in much the same way one intends to do when inducing vomiting or using laxatives. Sometimes this is done after a binge, but that is not always the case and it is also done after eating one's regular meals, or eating anything at all.
What are the Signs and Symptoms of Exercise Bulimia?
Working out for many cumulative hours each day and not taking any rest days to recover.
Working out in spite of injury or fatigue.
Restricting one's intake if they cannot get in exercise on a given day, or if they cannot get in additional exercise.
Prioritizing exercising over social, work, family, school, or other commitments.
Feeling a lot of guilt and distress if unable to workout.
Body checking and weighing frequently, and feeling the need to workout more to control size, shape and weight.
Exercise at uncommon times. For example very late at night, in the middle of the night, excessively early in the morning, while socializing, on breaks from school or work, etc.
Exercising in secret.
Maintaining a strict exercise routine, with little to no exceptions.
Feeling worthy to eat only if able to exercise.
What are the Causes and Contributing Factors to Exercise Bulimia?
Like all eating disorders, there is no single cause. Every individual is different and will have a collection of biological, psychological, social, and behavioral factors that contribute to the eating disorder. There is often an undercurrent of control, and the behaviors are used as a coping mechanism for negative emotions, thoughts, memories, and experiences.
In my story above, the onset of symptoms of exercise bulimia came at a very tumultuous time in my life while dealing with a family trauma and it was absolutely a coping mechanism.
Underlying causes and contributing factors to exercise bulimia may look as follows:
Dopamine. When we exercise, it releases feel good neurotransmitters, such as dopamine. When the feeling wears off and we feel more stress and anxiety again, amongst other emotions, it may trigger the urge to re-engage to help feel good.
Perfectionism. Someone who is a perfectionist will have a lower tolerance to flexibility with behaviors in the face of perceived imperfections (for example with appearance or performance).
Addictive personalities. Those with an addictive personality are more likely to engage in extremes, with exercise being no exception to this.
Body Dysmorphia. The more negatively one perceives their body, and the more mental focus is placed on that, the more likely they will be to engage in the eating disorder.
Weight Stigma. The belief that a certain physique is best, such as we often see on social media, can be a trigger to engage.
Being Bullied. Specifically, when one is bullied about their weight, body type or appearance.
Life Changes, Family Conflicts, Emotional Conflicts. Can all trigger the need for control and/ or a coping mechanism.
Fitness Trackers. For example “closing the rings” on an apple watch, or trying to track a certain number of steps each day can all trigger competitive and extreme behaviors.
What are the Health Complications of Exercise Bulimia?
Even though we as a society have a strongly positive perception of health when it comes to exercise, unfortunately in the case of exercise bulimia this is quite untrue.
Some physical consequences of exercise bulimia include:
Overuse Injuries. Such as sprains, tears, pulls and stress fractures.
Exercise Amenorrhea. This is when one loses their period due to excessive exercise. This can cause osteoporosis, infertility and other reproductive issues.
Heart Problems. Such as arrhythmia, which is an irregular heartbeat.
Fatigue.
Electrolyte Imbalances.
Digestive Issues. Not everyone who engages in exercise bulimia will also engage in binge eating, though many do. For those that do, they often experience bloating, stomach pain, nausea, and acid reflux.
Some psychological consequences of exercise bulimia include:
Social Isolation. Withdrawal from relationships (partners, friends, family).
Rigidity. Black and white thinking. Perfectionism.
Irritability.
Anxiety and Depression.
Low Self Esteem.
Though exercise bulimia can have serious mental and physical consequences, it is absolutely possible to overcome this eating disorder and go on to live a full and healthy life. As with all eating disorders, we believe a full recovery is absolutely possible, and my story, and the countless other individuals we have guided to a full recovery, are living proof of that.
If you or your loved one is struggling with an eating disorder and ready to explore what recovery and support can look like, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We always offer free calls and this is a great chance to connect, and get some immediate guidance and clarity on next steps.
